a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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