Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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