If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
