He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
50% drunk capacity currently
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
