I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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