TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
