I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i out mim tonsoeep
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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