I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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