Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
