Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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