Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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