There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
