I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
