Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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