Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
