We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
