all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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