I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize