Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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