i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
