Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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