I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
