he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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