WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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