I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
