my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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