Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
