You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
