: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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