mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
