he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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