All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
