Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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