Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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