It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
