My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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