??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Do vagina's smell?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
