me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
