Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
