We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
