Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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