Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
