It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
