so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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