I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
