Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
