also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
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Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
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We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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