She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
