I need to stop coming to work sober
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Randomize
