just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
