I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
