I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
