She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
