She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
