he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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