I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
