that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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