my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
