Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
