I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize