Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
